Mood:Okay
Song of Choice: "Take it All" by Trust Company
Topic: Chibi Friends

:: pout:: I want Peter....don't worry nothing is wrong with me it's just that well I mean it's Peter my drug of choice :) high in Habit forming yet does not cause hunger. Lol I got a story to tell that makes me laugh just to think about it.

I had lunch with Ben today at his school and while there I kinda looked around and wondered what it would be like to have the same friends since first grade. Then I saw the craziest thing I ever saw and this is more for my Columbus people then the folk of the 912 but it was so cute!

This little girl had this purple lunch box and another boy came and took it from her and she was about to go after him and when a skinny boy got her lunchbox back for her. Then he gave it back to the little girl and took her hand lead her to the end of a table and sat her down. mega Kawaii! Then it gets ever more sickeningly cute! A little boy with glasses comes with a little brown bag and blonde hair and glasses and sits next to the girl. And they're talking and laughing and the little girl puts a cup cake in the seat in front of her(which at the time is empty) and then gives another to the little boy and the glasses and doesn't keep one for herself. Then the tall boy came and sat in the seat infront of the girl. He looked at the cupcake confused and then asked where it came from and if it was for him. The girl said that she gave it to him. The little boy smiled and ate the cupcake.

Watching them talk and laugh I thought about all of my friends but my mind came to this conclusion. I think Peter, Junior, and I would have been that way if we had known each other from the beginning. Those three sat alone the whole lunchtime and shared everything and it was just so cute to watch. So that was cool...lol...I wish I could have seen all of us that way like I saw Chibi Jun and Chibi Peter but I want to see Chibi Lum and Chibi Cat and Chibi Nori and Chibi Lisette and Chibi Nancy and Chibi Jonnell and Chibi Quita and Chibi Games. I just felt the need to name all of my friends I beg your pardon lol.

Well in anycase I got a pic of me in my room with the umbrella in my room. Scoop the Yuna and Zidane Scrolls, Lily fabric, the boxes are all from Peter, Junior, and Geimer (it's so many I send them back with things for them lol hehe) then that's one of my dad's shirts on the my right and then on your right you have my blankies. My brother took the pic.



Wow now that I look at the pic it kinda looks like I'm upset or something. I have those wounded animal come take care of me stay back or I'll bite look...but I always have that look :) Jonnell has one of me that so cute it's me sitting on the ground hehe I hope she scans it soon I stole one of me and Dan in the hallway I mean we both smiled and it came out good so it's going on the wall.

This is one from when Josh and Jonnell came over :) they drew on my sidewalk lol yupe I hadn't seen Josh in AGES so that was cool my mom took the pic. Jonnell feel free to take it you know lol because YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT lol if I had a hard copy I would let you have it but digital you know.


Oh and uh ::clears throat:: LADIES OF HINNESVILLE I HAVE ONE GEIMER COLON JR PICTURE THAT I WILL ACCTION OFF TO THE HIGHEST BIDDER (sorry games hehe I'm poor and I want to get this one really cool scroll for my room you understand right :) See if you would call or e-mail I could ask you but since you're hardly around lol I'll just assume it's okay--Peter stop right there I know what you're gonna say- Kim that is so wrong--it's not! Its fine! lol he has all his clothes on hehe But I would never sell Jun or Peter Photos oh no way! Games yes though...hmm I wonder why....no seriously I do I feel no guilt selling this picture as if he was nothing than a slab of meat) Why do i feel like Faye Valentine hustleing people right now oh well! So yeah asking price is $5 I take cash and check just let me know if your interested lol.


(I'm kidding I'm kidding Geimer stop having a heart attack geeze :) but if someone wants it I AM going to sell it with your okay that is :) Lol you know we're friends you can scold me later)

Well that's all for now...::yawn:: I'm gonna go read I think or sleep one of those two or maybe play on the PS. bye guys
Kim

Mood:Beautiful
Song of Choice: “Real Me” by Ayumi Hamasaki
Topic: I’m not certain

I got an e-mail from someone very very very gifted in their use of words…I would like to thank them…and tell then how much I love them. I also would like to post their e-mail but I’m certain that he would be embarrassed and its best to just outline the email.

He wrote me in regard to the last update. Shorting his e-mail really cheapens it but I’m going to have to. He stated that he doubted that Melanie was truly beautiful…that she was simply hot. Then he went on to explain that hot is simply a physical attraction that males feel for a female for just the physical and that in many ways the word hot is negative. But beautiful on the other hand also means a beauty of the heart and spirit.

He continued to say that I in my own respect was of status and popular but I just didn’t look at it the right way. That I was popular with my friends that I was important and recognized to them and thus I was popular and that everyone else really didn’t matter because money running I don’t like them either lol.

My friend also continued to say that he wanted to defend me from all this confusion and the terrors of life but he regrettably couldn’t but he knew I was strong.

He said many other things…but that is not for the masses lol so I just wanted to let everyone know that I got my head on straight again I just had delirium of grandeur you know but I’m back now. Hmmm lol I hope that the boy that sent me that e-mail calls me later this evening because I think I have a lot to say to him.

So yes…um lol hey guys thanks for liking me the way I am lol I didn’t realize how many people cared until the e-mail and then when I tried to put all the mail and notes that I got this year in chronological order…I have like a note for everyday from just Jonnell and sometimes two…lol it’s so wild but…thanks guys for liking me the way I am.

^-^
Kim
Real Me
What I get?
What you get?
It may be an illusion
And we may only want to believe
That we have got
What I say?
What you say?
If we don't express
Our thoughts and feelings in words
They may not be understood nor reach
The present time
Starts here
A woman never runs away
A woman never hides away
In order to survive
You should not want to be healed
Without fighting
A woman never shows her fears
A woman never shows her tears
In order to survive
You should not easily
Show your tears to someone
What I need?
What you need?
Maybe it's all right
So long as I have desires
And am not satisfied
What I lose?
What you lose?
Maybe I have heard enough people saying
That they knew the value of something
Only after losing it
Love
It's here
A woman could be dangerous
A woman could be generous
In order to survive
We cannot always be
So good girls
A woman could be having fun
A woman could be like a nun
In order to survive
We cannot be kind to others
Before we know pain
A woman never runs away
A woman never hides away
In order to survive
You should not want to be healed
Without fighting
A woman never shows her fears
A woman never shows her tears
In order to survive
You should not easily
Show your tears to someone
A woman could be dangerous
A woman could be generous
In order to survive
We cannot always be
So good girls
A woman could be having fun
A woman could be like a nun
In order to survive
As I know
You see the real me

Mood:Confused
Song of Choice: " " by Ayumi Hamasaki (this is one of my fav videos lol the Church and snow and Ayu)
Topic: BIG CHANCE

HAHAHAHA!!!! This is it ladies and gentleman the time has come!! Kim's big chance to asend the hiearchian high school ladder with Jonnell and Lisette at my side!

As I've said before you are labeled by the way you look sad but true. I kinda just nod and deal with it but you see there's always something I've kinda hated. I've mentioned it before but I kinda jsut deal with it. You see there is this girl her name is Melanie and I don't exactly know how I feel about her. I remember the first time I saw her I got that weird feeling like when I first saw Lum. Lum amazed me on many levels. As did Melanie. Melanie to me is beautiful physically. But mentally I don't know. Lum is smart Lum is amazing in so many ways--Lum is three dimensional. Melanie...isn't.

It's odd like I won't lie I have been jealous of her. Boys always follow her and she's pretty and popular and everything and well somedays I wish I could be that way. Just once you know...I remember I cried about it once because I wanted to know what it was like to be that pretty and liked that much you know? Someone confused me with her twice...I took it as a complement

::sigh:: but moving past fantasy and on to reality. She and her two sisters all very pretty have been dubbed the queens of rock by...lol well basically by all the girls that fall into that label (I fall there I think due to association) Most of the girls hate them...not because they're mean or anything just...well like if I was talking to Josh and they happened to be there on my arrival they would leave without so much as a world like I was the plague.

I had class with Pam one of Melanie's younger sisters and well she..can be okay...kinda. I'm not sure how to put it....she only talked to me when she needed something...but I loved to make her smile so I did it as much as I could. Well anyway I'm confused lol. You see they do the big pants wear all black look you know and as I've said before you don't dress like that without something bothering you lol unless you're fake and I...don't know if they are or not. I mean...they could be...because they are those people that won't wear it unless it came from the Hot Topic so they can't be so bad off...but...they always look sad...all three of them.

Anyway the point! They're moving! The rulers are passing on and have no heir to the thrown! This is our big chance(me Lisette and Jonnell) to I don't know...get noticed I guess. lol man I don't know where this is going...I know I really don't want to rule it all you know I don't really want to be popular and have everyone know me...I'm really private and stuff but...I don't know just...I guess this is not only our big chance but all the girls. Like since the prettiest girls are leaving maybe well any one of us can get noticed...not that I really want to get noticed.

hmm what am i trying to say...maybe Melanie isn't the problem maybe it's just I'm kinda threatened by her physical beauty and now that she's leaving I can be a little more confidant...I'm not sure really I mean she doesn't have anything I want really. So maybe it doesn't matter if she stays or goes...hmm...man let me think here I never really thought about it...I'm not sure...I know I don't want to be popular but maybe just because...it's the last year and because next year I have to start over I want to be spectacualr...I'm not sure.

You know what yes I do. I'm happy with the way I am! Noticed or not, pretty or ugly(but i know I'm pretty because a little birdy told me so), or anything else! I just don't know I guess hmm I don't know what came over me...I think it was because I tried to be nice and talk to them and they kinda lol ignored my exsistance and gave this holier than thou art air that I thought I had to prove something...but I guess I don't. I'm enouth the way I am lol. Man what a weird thought huh? Me being just fine the way I am...wow that's kinda cool...hmm but still lol I think Jonnell, Lisettem and I will stir up some caos just enough to get a buzz around the school lol! I'm on year book so lol it's all gonna be on film!! lol everyone have a good night!

::Kim dances away pretending to be Ayu from and making water lol ::

Kim

Mood:Hyper
Song of Choice: "Rainbow" by Ayumi Hamasaki
Topic: Just playing

PEOPLE I KNOW WHAT A coup detat is I just didn't know how to spell it!! I for some reason spelled it cou I think or kou Geimer was just informing me of the correct way to spell it! Man you guys must think me a novice...so mean! ::yawn:: I need a new layout I think...but I'm going to keep this one too like as a back up I like this one a lot. It struck a chord with me.

Anyway my comment box is now a love forum ::gags:: man...where's my undying worship at I'm the one that runs this place... ::is cranky:: Man ::yawn:: well while I'm here no I don't mind you guys talking to one another in my box it's funny to read but watch out all you people hitting on my CHS boys those are mine. You make any wrong moves I have no hesitation of killing you because all three of them helped me regain sanity after those blasted penguins stole it. So watch yourselves you know how evil I can be.

HAHHA I'M SUCH A JEALOUS PERSON HAHAHAHAH

::clears throat:: no I'm not really jealous just...protective but you guys all know how I'm wired.Main Objective To serve and defend those I love. LoL I have a real bad Heero Yuy complex lol no wonder he was my favorite...yupe...or it could all go back to that easy bake oven thing Peter sent me...::yawn:: Peter is truly wise. Oh speaking of which Peter I have something i want to send you but your inbox is full feel free to clean that out. Jun-sama I had something I wanted to tell you but I can't remembe to save my life. oh and Games no more stupid FWDs you know very good and well I hate those but thanks for the WB news. That means if it was Yancy that she's outta rehab. Now for a shinning Fan Girl moment.

YOU GUYS ERIC'S MOVIE COMES OUT ON THE 6TH WOW WOW IT'S SO CLOSE!! ERIC IS SO CUTE!::swoon::

::Setsuna walks by and shakes his head and goes to sweep some of the Sanctuary's doorways::

::gets up:: Thanks for the hand SETSUNA!!

::Reply:: YOU'RE OH SO WELCOME.

::mumur:: Smart ass....oh well....I'm in a stupidly good mood today I don't know it maybe because I have A Song for XX and stuck in my head!
I really like both of those songs...then again I like most of Ayu's music...boy that must seem odd the Puerto Rican the follows the Japanese Pop star...my room looks like an orient trade shop...IT'S ALL SO BEAUTIFUL!!

::sigh:: Hmmm where is this hyper energy from? Maybe it's from watching FY last night...I love FY...all that love and devotion jive I'm all into that...but I think more over it's the adversity of the situation. I love a hard situation like X everybody dies that's a rough circumstance but better still is the tramua on Kamui--I really must sound twisted but how do I put this...I have an easier time relating to Kamui's pain and anger then to say Sailor Moon and her love and friendship deal. Masochist that I am...but then again I think all people are masochists...and sadists...just I'm not big on the infliction so I don't sport the label lol.

::yawn:: well i think I've gone in circles long enough. Everyone have a good day at school okay! And for all you Hinnesville guys--don't let the boredom kill you :)
Bye
Kim

Mood:EUPHORIA
Song of Choice: "Appears" by Ayumi Hamasaki ( think it's appears I trust Peter put them in order)
Topic: Package!

LOL OMG too much fun! Let me tell you guys what I got a package from Peter and Jun today! Whhhoooo! I will now tell of the many goodness things they sent me
#1 LETTER-IE GOODNESS (which I have a quote I just HAVE to post on here)
#2 A Kenshin book that is like A Summary of everthing that happens(it’s not in English but that doesn’t even matter because I get the idea)
#3 YAN YAN!! Yummmmieee!! (Oh Nancy do you know if there’s a Korean shop around here that has Yan Yan or Pocky or such other munchies?)
#4 Ramune! (Wow that stuff is so much fun to open…we should all get a bottle and have a contest as to who can get theirs open first)
#5 The Complete Hamasaki Ayumi CD COLLECTION—including nonstop mega mix and music videos(WOW it’s on now! There will be no English coming from my stereo!….not that there was much coming out of it anyway...::sigh:: I wanna be just like Ayu...does anyone know wher eI can get an Ayumi scroll?)
# 6 A HAND FAN WITH Flowers!!! It was soooo pretty Domo Arigato Piitaa-kun!!
# 7 (the thing that shocked me and got me to scream to high heaven) A Japanese Bamboo umbrella !! Jun-kun Thank you soooo much you’re the best!!! It’s sooo big I have no idea where I’m gonna put it!!

I was soo Happy!!! Okay now for that letter. Peter wrote me a letter waaay back in January and I got it today and No joke I laughed out load at some of the things he said. Peter’s letters are soo fun to read because it’s just like talking to him. But here’s what he said and I laughed so hard I cried because it’s 100% true about me and the general statement.

“Oh the drama of the Institue! You really go for the tortured guys though…It’s like…your fetish, lol. But in all seriousness here’s a quote from The Year of Ice (a book I planned on sending you as soon as I get a job, lol) :

‘She turns her head to me and I can tell she’s in love with me. Not with who I am, but with who she wants me to be. A cute bad boy that just needs the love of a good woman. It’s like the number-one chick fantasy of all time. I blame it on the easy bake oven. You have this one thing, like this cup of gooey crap, an you do something to it, and then it becomes something else, something good enough to eat. That’s why all girls think they can change boys. ‘Cause they all had easy-bake ovens when they were little.”~Kevin Doyle. The Year of Ice p84.

Okay number one. I never thought about it that way but YES THAT IS MY FETISH (subconscious though) but not for the reason the man gives though it’s a very good reason no joke. But here’s why I don’t agree. I DID have and Easy Bake oven as a lass and guess what happened? I was all enthused I made the little cake mix and put it in and you know what happened? NO JOKE IT BLEW UP. I’m dead serious guy…which is eventually what happens when you try to change people (I had this conversation with Jonnell today) so yeah. But the dude is right most women do have that fantasy…I think mine is a variation though.

I think it may steam from my insecurities about my appearance. Like…well I may not look like much…but if I’m really nice and help them and we become friends then maybe one day someone will eventually like me maybe even love me. But I think that’s subconscious.

Like I help people without thinking. Like I give outta habit I don’t know like. When I bring people ove I feed them and give them drink and stuff…most of them are weirded out by that. Of course it may be the fact that I force them to eat and stuff you know because I only bring people home that I know don’t eat so I can feed them. Lol. And then like yesterday one of Daniel’s friends Rhoedes (which is one of his better ones he’s just a little impatient but he reminds me of a lost puppy SOO CUTE!!) was getting sick in my driveway(long story) and well I kinda went into Medic mode automatically. Then Lisette took him home which reminds me Lisette thank you SOOO much for taking them home and everything I know you had a rough day and I’m sure it was a burden I’m sorry. But THANK YOU!! Hey did you ever get my writing analyzed

Well anyway I gtg so I’ll talk to you guys a little later okay

Oh PS I’m thinking of getting a hair cut how does this style look to you?




Oh and FEAST UPON THE SEXINESS OF MY CHS PEOPLE!!!(yeah the important people are Peter(curly hair) Junior (the choker) Quita( one not looking up) Geimer(facial hair chile--wow he looks good...WHY COULD YOU HAVE BEEN CUTE WHEN YOU WERE FOLLOWING ME ABOUT ALL SOPHOMORE YEAR...I'm gonna have to kill you for this...grr got cute ONCE I LEAVE...man I love you too Games) and Ive(Girl with Geimer) no one else really matters. WHAT THEY DON’T! Wait I'll just crop it ok.







AWW my CHS boys are all grown up and looking incredibly intelligent and absolutely irresistible. See people this is what I’m use to lovely men and good circumstance—not HINNESVILLE!! Look I mean Peter and Jun are soooo adorable and look at Games how can you not love him? Man I miss my homies…but I got good homies here like Jonnell and Lisette—and sometimes Nancy when she’s all there lol j/k lol. Well bye guys!

Kim...::jamming to Song for XX--one of my lyric favorites::

PS this is something one of my maniac friends whose always looked out for me more than even I really know. He wrote a must read for anyone interested in FFX-2lol or if you're just tired of Heros with big boobs...lol Thanks Games I'm sorry I haven't answered your mail I haven't check the yahoo AG in forever man I'm sorry I got stuf that is like 3 months old that I haven't read.

Hey do you have this problem you're looking at a pretty decent anime but all of a sudden you notice something odd about the heroine of this story....and when yo do realize just what it is do you do this in your mind" SWEET HOLY MARY MOTHER OF JESUS WHAT THE HELL IS THAT" thats right the heroine is unfairly stacked (personally i blame the drawers) but honestly
one must wonder if the reason y female heros are sometimes defeated in animes is the fact that are using most of their power trying to
maintain their balance. Surely their body frames can't possibly support such a massive apparatus don't you think? Well we have no been presented a solution here i present to you Yuna of the new FFX-2 game is someone who has plenty of power and skill without being held back by cumbersome breasts. Now we may all in bask in the full glory of confident PROPORTIONAL woman. Afterall
the last thing any of us want is a heroine who's first line of defense involving her nipples don't you think?


lol Games is smart...okay I just found some old mail from him I will share his knowledge with you. In this one he's talking about umm my rant about the Hot Topic Prepy kid thing

Topic: A very abused form of Zen

Okay first Avril laveigene SUCKS....now back on the subject at hand. The prejudgement concept is complete shit the whole concept you are what your friends are or you would not be friends is such a lie last time a i checked I was I and he was he. When you have a prep most likely there will be a goth (dressed to impress or not)its one of the many balances in life for virtually everything in existence there is an antithesis that opposes it or represents everything that you are not. It may not really be so much about hypocrisy so much as it is about undermining everything the other group. Unfortunately some have taken this to a rather odd dogmatic way of doing
things but there always has to be an extreme doesn't there....with labels comes simply leaving behind having to know everyone and assum they all posses very similiar traits. Generalizations are a very harsh and extremely restrictive way of keeping a "social hierarchy" nice and orderly defined. To me it seems more based on oppressing the idea of an individual standing alone even when that
person has very differing ideas within the "outcast" group. Now all in all this is hypocritical to label such things when you yourself aren't any better (i don't me you as in YOU). When it comes down it all groups has the desire to become more main stream even the goths to an extent although i'll admit i doubt it to be as aggressive as the "main stream/prep" half of our world. When you see people look at the music you listen and scoff are you not making an attempt to impose your will on them even in something as trival as
what band you listen to. In of itself its somewhat a battle of collective wills trying to become ruler(as you said yourself) now to an individual such as yourself being a goth or something like that is not about having this or that label its about being true to yourself and what you think/enjoy/feel. However the battle of the nobility and the downtrodden has gone on for such a long time i doubt any real meaning other then making sure their ideaology doesn't gain an actual supremecy. Now for me i like to more or less be considered somewhat out there away from both groups such a conflict means little to nothing to me, personally i can't stand stereotypes such as goth (although it does sounds kinda cool:) sounds a lot better then prep woudn't you say) or as my mother so elequently put a gangbanger. As i had said before i much perfer to walk my own path and wish naively someone will just notice the fact that i'm not my friends or anybody else for that matter. And with that i leave you.
Have a good day...
games:)

PS: I know you're gonna hate me for this but i'm gonna do it anyway, last time i read the word for change of rulers i say it spelled in the following fashion......c'oup d'etat lol i'm not sure but i think thats it anyway bye


Dude! you know how many dictionaries I checked to find C'oup and STILL didn't find it?

Mood: Sleepy
Song of Choice: "Echo" by Trapt(back to a favorite lol)
Topic:Daily Bitchology
Days That Have Passed Since I sent Eric's Letter: 14 Weeks and 4 days

Quote of the Day: "It is written no man can serve two masters. I thought I could be the exception. I was mistaken" --Ian Nottingham
May 14th, 2003
::Hedgehog rolls to Kim in a Hamster Ball::
Hey! Where have you been? I thought the lady down in the soup kitchen ate you! What's this?
::Hedgehog hands Kim paper and rolls off::
Okay...later then...
::Kim plops into Hammock and starts to read::

Kim,
Hey Kim I read your blog a little while ago. Whats wrong why don't you feel as though you don't need love? I mean c'mon yes people say you're nice, kind, adj, adj ect. However you're also spiteful, reclusive, guess how I know...because thats the wat everyone else is. You have your own special talents, strengths, weaknesses, thoughts. But in the end you're human like everyone else, you bleed like everyone esle + hurt like everyone. Everyone has a good + bad side to them, some bury it (points to self) while others let is slip out. Do you know why people try to make you happy because the good you hold outweighs the bad you claim exhabit.

What makes you the sole defender of those who care, you're not the only one with a warriors spirit, especially amongst your friends. I'm not telling you how to feel or if what you think is right or wrong. I ask you to consider the tid-bit of advice. Kim, you're no more better or worse then anyone. I wish you the best Kim.

Your friend ,
Games.

::Folds Paper and puts it away::
*Murmur* God Damned Hedgehogs and there Solid Right on advice. ::sits up::

Hey anyone want to hear about the scrape me and one of Dan's friends had? little Mini fight.

So at Lunch Lisette was a little unhappy so I was taking care of her. Then Lorraine came and started to talk and try to make Lisette feel better. So Torhen pops out of no where and picks up Dan by the shirt and slams him against a wall. So I tell Lorraine and Lisette that I'd brb. So I went over there and pried Torhen's hands off of Dan.

Then Torhen has the nerve to say "What's wrong your hooch have to take care of you?" First off I am not a Hooch and I have taken more of enough Torhen's bull shit. I mean oh Lord like you wouldn't believe so I slapped him. Then he slappened me back. Now see by then we were smiling at each other and he had to provoke me again by saying "Was that slap suppose to hurt?" So I raised an eyebrow and said no but this might and I pulled his hair.

Now here's the significance of this action :) Number one Torhen is physically stronger than I am so even if I gave him my best straight shot he'd return it in the same level so I don't think I coulda taken it. Also no one has ever pulled Torhen's hair by penalty of death so this was a calculated I'm not scared of you move.

No from there he grabbed me by the hair and then Dan had to make us let go of one another but we were going to throw down and kill each other. Stupid maybe it was but it showed Torhen I won't stand for that crap. I apologized later because his friends were giving him a hard time and so forth merciful Kim right? Well when he went home and told his mom--his mom came down on him for calling me hooch--in front of Dan, Cedric, and Ramon his three friends....aww it was too sweet a tale. But we're on speaking terms and I don't think he'll man handle Dan anymore--hopefully.

May 15th 2003
Hi yeah I'm not feeling well but I wanted to say hi anyway an post the thing from yesterday and tell everyone to my wicked pleasure I somehow got a perfect score on the Math Portion of the Graduation Test hehe! No small feat for me! I suck at math! But I got a crappy score in English (damn people have to argue with my opinion!)

Anyway also for some reason I can't cheak my e-mail I don't know why so as soon as I'm able to get in there and read what you guys are sending me I'll let you guys know so...I'm gonna go rest I have a headache bye!

Kim

P.S. Here's alittle something I got in my inbox now it works lol 5:40 pm)
When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a bitch.
When I stand up for those I love, they call me a bitch.
When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or do things my own way, they
call me a bitch.

Being a bitch means I won't compromise what's in my heart. It means I live
my life MY way. It means I won't allow anyone to step on me. When I refuse
to tolerate injustice and speak against it, I am defined as a bitch.

The same thing happens when I take time for myself instead of being
everyone's maid, or when I act a little selfish. It means I have the courage
and strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and won't become anyone
else's idea of what they think I "should" be. I am outspoken, opinionated
and determined. I want what I want and there is nothing wrong with that!

So try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every
ounce of beauty I hold within me. You won't succeed. And if that makes me a
bitch, so be it. I embrace the title and am proud to bear it.

B - Babe
I - In
T - Total
C - Control of
H - Herself

B = Beautiful
I = Intelligent
T = Talented
C = Charming
H = Hell of a Woman

B = Beautiful
I = Individual
T = That
C = Can
H = Handle anything

Kim

Mood: Self Loathing
Song of Choice: If I told you this was killing me would you stop?" by The Juliana Theory...for about the 10th time
Topic:Self
Days That Have Passed Since I sent Eric's Letter: 14 Weeks and 2 days

Quotes of the Day: "If pain was the price for having love towards you, then I would take it williningly", " well if you would die for me so would others and so on and so on til the end of time"," what keeps you from being better your surroundings or yourself?"

Man I really dislike myself somedays. today being one of those days. I mean...most people say Kim is good/nice/sweet/special/whatever fucking ADJ you want to put here.

I mean I'm allright I guess I don't know but really I don't like it when people like me. I mean please dear God make everyone hate me! I mean ahhh having to deal with love and affection are not my strong point! I'm a fighter a defender I'm allowed to love but the minute someone loves me they mess it all up!

How the hell am I suppose to take care of someone when they'r trying to take care of me! Me of all people! I'm violent and angry and troublesome and hateful and evil and some one has the AUDACITY to want to take care of me to try and make me happy! who the hell do these people think they are. I just want to shove them away tell them all to get lost to back off! I'm invisible I live to serve and protect not to be protected what the hell! Man come on.

I hate this this this Female form! If I were a boy I wouldn't have to deal with this! I hate this GOD!! Too much work...I want to walk around with like 3 ft swords and just challenge anyone to try and talk to me God there's a body count...man...why do people see me all of a sudden?

::Sigh::
Note:This is how Kim deals with someone telling her "I love you"

Mood: Silly
Song of Choice: You'll see
Topic:Breaking and Entering
Days That Have Passed Since I sent Eric's Letter: 13 Weeks and 5 days

This is what happens when you mess with Kim about singing the WORLD CUP RALLY SONG in 3rd block...I'm sorry you don't mess with the World cup Ole song--that's just a no...
Off of Lisette's site--
Author:Kim
Mood Sleepy
Topic What's new?

Tuning into station 98.55 FM ::Kim plays DJ remixing the World Cup Anthem:: Hi all my people in the 912 and the 706 this is Kim to the Hernandez welcoming you to Lisette's new site!! Okay yeah!! OLE OLE OLE OLE OLE OOOOLLLLLE OOOOOOLLLLLE *scratch scratch* ::Kim has head phones in one hand and starts playing with the music:: WHAT NOW LISETTE!!?!? This is the REMIX. ::All of a sudden "Feeling on Your Booty by R.Kelly comes on:: HAHA!! Whooo! This is DJ Pip(as in Epiphany) givin' to you for real straight from In a Shattered Mind the realm of the Fallen Angel Lisette Morales!!! So for all my people in the 912 Lisette, Nancy, Jonnell, and even you Bob Daniels and the 706 Peter Lauren Cathrine Junior Geimer Nori and all my Peeps!! this one's for y'all!! An Oldie but a goodie!! ::a piano plays in the BG then a single phrase...:: It starts with you ::yelling over the music:: Haha you guys enjoy the layout and have a good time ya here! Drink responsibly and remember friends don't let friends drive drunk! So when leaving CLUB FALLEN please exit through one of the links and be sure to tip your waitress and hey! Thank your Designated Driver tomorrow okay Night everyone! ::Grooves:: *Scratch Scratch*

Mood: Content Actually
Song of Choice: "Imaginary" by Evanescence
Topic:Things
Days That Have Passed Since I sent Eric's Letter: 13 Weeks and 0 days

Hey how is everyone? I’m doing well I talked to three very important people today Jonnell, Peter and Junior and their positive energy totally made any mood I was in disappear. It’s nice to talk to people that understand you. Total positive aura and chi recharge all is well.

(*side note: what the hell ever happened to Geimer—I would call him but I have so many different cell phone numbers and crap I don’t know which none to call.)

I Like giving…I really do. You see today( a day late) I gave Jonnell her birthday present. It makes me happy. You see here’s how it went. I had to go to Savannah to get it that’s why it was late (It being the My Ruin CD A Prayer under Pressure and violent Anguish I wanted to get her Speak and Destroy because all her fav songs are on there but they didn’t have it). So then I took it home and I took the CD and from the cover and stuff made a wrapping paper (not like literally from the cover like I copied the colors and fonts and stuff. Then by accident it came out cool and the name of the CD was in the center of the CD diagonally you’d have to see it to understand but it was a nice effect. I went a found her a rose (sorry Lum to steal your image flower but firstly my image flower is a little harder to find and I know who I’m giving my first image flower to HAHAHA……sorry) and then walked over to her house and presented it to her. Poor thing was about to sleep when I called to announce myself I felt bad I had waken her.

From there she provided me with a gift. We just stood outside her house and talked. I love talking to Jonnell. She really is a sharp one and I wish I could do it more. Our conversations are a special treat for me. So we spent an hour or so there discussing the problems with society, the problem with people in general, and of course the root and strategies to over come these problems. (normal teen stuff right?)

Something Junior said and talking to Jonnell reminded me of a thing that crossed my path and I couldn’t help but post it now. I won’t tell you the writer is it might make you biased if you’ve read their stuff before or if you’ve heard of them. So you can read it as a poem but when I read it I always read it and have like rap music in my head lol like big bass it’s funny. Well yes this is one of those…rat bastard hate poems…and now that I think about it all the people that read this site have a male they hate so that shouldn’t be too much of a problem. Well here we go.

Anti-Euphoria
Intro:This is a message to all you people who smiled in our faces and then stabbed us in the back, who lead on, who made us believe your lies. To all of you that ever spoke our names in vain—now it is time for the vengeance.

People warned me and told me to stay away from him; they said his words are like roses beautiful but within there lays thorns waiting to prick and let the pain begin. The wounds won’t heal anytime soon I cling to this flower wilted so far past bloom but still I hold and derive masochist pleasure. Sadist that you are your venom creeps in.

You infected me with your disease, and I was to blind to see, the lie that was in my sight, my body and mind to weak to fight. Clashing minds with a hypocrite, my heart has been severed; no longer knows truth, this bullshit that surrounds me cause of you.

Thief in the night you jumped in through the window and pounced on my sleeping form. Taking what you thought was yours. I scream I cry out but still you continue the mental ravaging, this rape of my soul, the physical virginity remains but the innocence is lost.

Left here in my cripple state, a whore created. Scavenging for release…trying to repent my sins…still infected with your disease. You’re the bastard who controls my dreams, nightmares is a better word, you’re the bastard that controls my dreams…a mind boggling sexist fiend.

The memories of you still stain my mind, I remember once upon a time, whenever you held my hand you cared, whenever you held me it meant that you would be there. I remember the taste of your lips, so sweet, a blissful kiss, now I scrub my lips because you taste like shit.

You the one I trusted he that I adored, lied for you, cried for you, would lay down my life for you. You took my fragile heart and ripped it in two, played with my mind—made me the fool. You told me you loved me time and again but I know you spoke those words in vain and then it came to an end.

And that my friends is Anti-Euphoria this little ditty actually has an edited out verse just because well the writer didn’t know where to put it. It’s a hard one to find out there on the web. Please be sure to hit the comment box on the prison block to let me know your opinion take a guess at who the artist is and whether you think it is good or bad I’m always curious about the opinion of others as you know. If you know who it is don’t kill the game all right just let the others struggle I might say if you guys give me enough feed back.

Such a good mood…literally I am hehe it’s weird…hey! Jun should be going to bed soon let me go baby sit him from the evil…Kinda religious psycho.
Night!

Kim

Mood:Mellow To Cranky
Song of Choice: "Evolution" by Ayumi
Topic: Pretty?
Days That Have Passed Since I sent Eric's Letter: 12 Weeks and 5 days

I don’t take being called pretty very well. I’m not too sure of myself most of the time. And I feel inadequate. But I think…God pretty much sent me a memo stating that it was all right to think myself to be just a little bit pretty. First boys say girls are pretty/hot all the time so I don’t take them seriously especially if I know them because I think my personality wins anyone over. Like Peter Junior and Geimer would call me pretty if I was ugly because they love me a lot J Simple as that but other people have not been swayed with my sweet ways.

But yesterday at lunch while walking in and out of the cafeteria looking for my friends a cluster of fellows had the nerve to call me hot as I walked by. How do I know it was me? Because there wasn’t another girl around---I know I looked! So that was kinda like…I’m going to go and sit in a corner and just hide.

Then My hero the great Luminer called me as such this was all the proof I needed because her word to me is gold. Much like the words of Tairrie B are to Jonnell and if you know Jonnell you would know that’s A LOT!

Lastly just now a girl hit Ben and so her baby sitter came over to apologize for the action. But as she crossed the yard she ignored my mother and walked straight to me. I was sitting on a stool just perched doing nothing and all of a sudden this girl is cradling my face and touching my hair. I didn’t know what to do so I just sat there and let her examine me turning bright red. Then she got closer and looked at my eyes. The only thing she said was “Green?” I answered “No they change colors--Hazel” She nodded and told me to stand up and then looked me over. She then nodded and said “You’re Pretty and proceeded to talk with my mom.” To say the least it was a scary experience. I was wearing jeans and an oversized shirt—Pretty where?

So yes it was all very very weird.

:: 13 hours later::

Man my mom cut her finger and spent most of the night in the hospital…So tired. I was so scared for most of the night until a certain someone that will remained unnamed called and stayed on the phone with me until I feel asleep! Such a super sweet guy!

::after school::

Man…rough day….I’ll write the details later…because…I’m way to frusterated to do it now maybe tomorrow morning.